everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
