Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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