Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
