you mean i was at the winter classic?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
