About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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