Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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