a queef is a wish your heart makes.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
