Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Randomize
