I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
