My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
