that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
