You smell like stripper and shame
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
being pregnant is like rehab
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
