Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
