it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
