What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
