so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
