im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize
