i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
