i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Barsexuality is the new black.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
