tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
