He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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