bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
