She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
where does the pee come out of this thing
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
