Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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