The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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