He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
