Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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