I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
