Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I am naked and annoyed.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
