Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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