so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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