party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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