He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
