i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
MIDGETS
????
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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