He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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