Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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