So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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