Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
