it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
