the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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