Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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