Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
