No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
