'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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