we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
