It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
