She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
