I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
