maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
