Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
