You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
